Carl Bergstrom wrote:
Richard,
Beautiful composition, beautiful presentation.
This one really works for me. If I was just looking at the tree I might comment on how I'd like to see more detail work there - but when I saw your image, I actually didn't notice that at all. I drank in the scene with an open mind, and only much later, as I sat down to write a reply, did I get around to trying to overanalyze the tree itself. I think means that you succeeded. It's beautiful.
The only part of the scene that I might want to change is the set of chalk fragments. These did trouble me upon a first viewing. I'd rather see one piece or a large number; a small number of similarly-sized fragments strikes me as a collection of pebbles rather than as evocative of a natural scene.
With my best wishes,
Carl
Carl,
Thanks for your kind and useful comments. The more I experiment with these displays, the harder placement and position seems to become!
You are right about the tree of course - it needs more work. Being away from home for most of last June and July, it was watered too much and needs tightening up this year. Luckily, in shohin trees, we have more room to be interpretive, but I believe that this also places more work upon the viewer also.
You hit the nail on the head with your point about the chalk. I searched for a single piece that was evocative of the chalk cliffs around me, but no luck yet. I was forced to improvise. It makes sense to me, as I am seeing what I want to, to a certain extent. Thanks for the feedback, it all helps for the next time.
Regards,
Richard.